Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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