3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
