I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
