In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
