My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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