found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
