if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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