And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
