He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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