She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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