So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
