I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
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Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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