I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I understand Curling. That high.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have tasted many bathrooms
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
