try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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