Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
