It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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