Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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