Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
