2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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