Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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