I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
