Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
