I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
