I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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