I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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