we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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