well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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