people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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