I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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