I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
