piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
