Sry I called you an 8
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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