I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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