spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
