Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
