that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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