Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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