so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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