Say something about gay babies.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
