I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So vagazzling was a success
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
