I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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