if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize