a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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