I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
