She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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