So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
