My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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