Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
