Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
