I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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