You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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