is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
