I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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