i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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