That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.