Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
