Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes