Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize