i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
