It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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