Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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