What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize