Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
