He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
