Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
