If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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